Sunday, November 30, 2014

It's not ideal, but what is with kids?

So Theo has been totally off his sleep cycle (not schedule, that would be a total lie if I claimed to magically get anyone in my family on a schedule) due to the holidays. Here I lay cuddling this adorable little Monster while he takes his morning nap.

Ideally he would sleep through the night, in his own bed, self soothe and then have scheduled naps. We are pretty far from ideal. Actually the only quality sleep he gets on the weekends and in the evenings is in on either me or his dad. 

We fought hard yesterday to make the crib nap happen. Tears galore but convinced that babies at this age need to learn to sleep in their own beds. I even set a timer, 4 minutes until he started to really cry, and then I cried and felt awful. He was clearly scared. Into my bed we went, lips trembling and hands shaking. 

The holidays have heightened our sleep issues. I always thought these would be the best times ever with kids, maybe they will be. What I forgot is that I get stressed out with running around everywhere and tired from the cramming in of family events/gatherings- its exhausting! For a baby it's like going to an all night rave- tons of faces in his face, missing routine (not scheduled) naps and playing nonstop, laughing hysterically where you can't distinguish between a cry and a laugh. 

It's Sunday and I've kissed the crib idea goodbye for now because what I really want is for him to just get some solid Zzz's. It was probably stupid to push it so hard yesterday but when you're sleep deprived and feel out of control yourself sometimes you adamantly do stupid things. I guarantee it won't be the last time I make mistakes with theo instead of listening to what my heart tells me. 

Naps are a precious time for anyone who likes to "get shit done" but he's already six months old and soon he won't need or want to hear my heart beat to sleep, soon enough he will be declaring his independence. I guess lying here and having some quiet time to reflect on this journey so far isn't so bad, beats folding stupid laundry anyways. 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Favorite Breast-feeding clothes?

This weekend it clearly became fall in Minnesota. My little Theo-monster grew hungry, I started unbuttoning my flannel shirt when it occurred to me, that this was my favorite shirt to breast-feed my child in. Not necessarily because it's the most convenient (although button downs are the best), but because I feel the most like my original self and new mother self welded together. I've been wearing this shirt ever since I've been an independent adult. Do you ever have those moments where you find intersections of your old life within your new life? To me, those moments are comforting because so much has changed, it feels good to be reminded of the person I was and still am. I'm not only a breast-feeding, working mom, I also am__,__, and _. 

The story of the red flannel
I bought it thinking it was the perfect MN woman shirt - red flannel with a little bit of frilliness for clarification that it wasn't a man's shirt.  

In this shirt, I have been a do-er. 
I've crafted things for my wedding and for my friends',
I've welded a garden sculpture, 
I've used a power saw in the garage alongside my wood-working husband,
I've done yard work: raked leaves, mowed the lawn, shoveled sticky snow, gardened,
I've painted things for the house,
I've ridden my bike all over minneapolis and st. paul, I even rode around NYC in this shirt,
I've cut the dog's hair, 
I've folded laundry, 
I've shared a beer with friends,
I've cooked pineapple quiona dishes,

I starred in a beer commercial wearing it for Grainbelt Nordeast, a community of which I'm proud to be a member.
I even was Paul Bunyan for halloween in this shirt.

My red flannel holds some of my best adventures and now perhaps its gaining the most wild one of all, feeding my baby.

What's your favorite article of clothing to feed your child in?